It’s hard to describe the city, which seems to oscillate between third world poverty and 5 star western opulence. The ride along the single straight main road has you passing everything from massive modern tour buses to motorbikes strapped with pigs bigger than the bike and driver put together. With all four legs in the air, strapped back to the bike, we’d thought the pigs were already dead, but upon opening the window to get a better look, the unmistakable high-pitched squeals of an animal off to slaughter could be heard. Apparently the animals are tranquilized for transport, but that doesn’t mean a stray kick or squeal doesn’t escape every few minutes…the scene stayed with Emele who later declared, “I think I’ve now seen it all.”

Siem Reap, the capital of northwestern Cambodia, is probably most famous for it’s jumping off point to the Angkor Temples, ruins made famous by Angelina Jolie’s movie Tomb Raider. We’d grabbed some bicycles and rode to the temples taking in the surrounding environment and marveling at how quickly scenery changes from street to street. Go to Pub Street in the middle of town and the manicured alleys make you feel like you could be in Vegas, walk two blocks in another direction and you’ll come to a pot-holed riddled dirt road and dimly fluorescent lit shops of knick knacks, which all seem to cost $1.

We’d walked through Angkor Wat, doing the usual photo shoot and making a little bit of a spectacle of the moment, to the amusement of other visitors…pics to come…but while worth the visit, it somehow lacked a bit of the majesty that had been built up in our minds prior to entry; maybe it was the line of Japanese tourists that snake through every path, hall and courtyard, or the bombardment of children with their postcards and bracelets on exit, but somehow the memory doesn’t pull with it that same sense of awe that came with viewing the Taj Mahal or the Pyramids of Giza…it was, well, “same same but different.”

When my boss told me a story of how he illegally climbed the Great Pyramids of Giza, I knew this was a mission for the Missadventures.  I asked Mihae if she was up for the challenge, “YES!” she quipped with no hesitation.

And off to Cairo we were with our guys in tow.  We stayed at Le Meridan Pyramids, a beautiful 4-star property with a swim up bar the overlooked the three giant tombs ($60 per night).  Upon checking in, our bellman, Mshai* escorted us to our room.  As soon as we left the lobby, Mihae blurted, “We want to climb the Pyramids, do you know anyone who can take us?” 

“I have some camels in my backyard,” said Mshai.  “Meet me behind the hotel tomorrow night at midnight.  I will take you.”

“How many camels do you have?” I asked.

“How many do you want?” he replied.

The next evening, after a day of exploring the city, visiting the Cairo Museum and a locals-only bazaar, we were ready for our mission. We left a note in our room explaining what we have done in the event we did not return, and nervously made our way to our meeting place.  Just as he promised, Mshai pulled up with a friend in a rickety old car, which was not much more than a pile of rust set upon an engine. 

We left the paved streets of Cairo and turned off onto a dirt road.  As the clock passed 1:00 a.m., we passed neighborhoods of broken down homes that visitors do not see.  We starred out the window at miles of camels tied to chain length fences, children playing along the dirt roads, men smoking cigarettes as they ride their horses with wagons of melons trailing behind them. We even spotted a dead donkey lying in a stream.  Mshai explained to us that because of the heat, many people choose to sleep during the day and the nights outdoors when its cooler.  Some of the neighborhoods looked like it has been hit by a bomb.

We pull up into his driveway and his family is eagerly awaiting us.  The $100 we paid for this “private tour” is more than most Egyptians make in a month.  They helped us onto our camels, waved goodbye and we set off into the darkness.

The ride into the desert was pure magic.  The crescent shaped moon was brighter than any we had seen before and cast a light directly to the top of the center Pyramid.  We knew this was no accident as the ancient Egyptians knew their astronomy and the sides of all three of the pyramids were astronomically oriented to be north-south and east-west within a small fraction of a degree.

An estimated 20,000 to 30,000 workers built the Pyramids at Giza over 80 years. Much of the work probably happened while the River Nile was flooded.

Our camels walked for what seemed like hours, and our backs began to ache as we slowly inched up and down countless sand dunes before arriving at the Giza Acropolis.

We climbed the The Pyramid of Khafre, which is the second largest and the tomb of the the fourth dynasty pharoh Khafre (Chephren). The pyramid has a base length of 215.25 m (707 ft) and originally rises to a height of 143.5 m (471 ft). It was most likely opened and robbed during the First Intermediate Period.

The Pyramid is made of Limestone blocks (weighing more than 2 tons each).  Each block came up to our waists but we eagerly pushed onward and upwards. 

We didn’t make it to the very top of the Pyramid, as our guide was afraid we would be spotted by a security guard.  We stopped near the top to take in the view of the sprawling city of more than 15 million. 

Mshai passed around a few warm beers and cigarettes from his knapsack and as we sat, he told us stories of growing up in Egypt, his homeland that he has yet to set foot out of.

We arrived back at the hotel the next morning exhausted and giddy.  We were not able to take photos of the expedition and had video footage that we accidentally taped over with footage of monkeys at the Sydney Zoo.  We will only have the memories of our adventure but we know this is a story will be will telling our grandchildren.

*Name has been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

Our trip to Paris was off to a bad start before we left U.S. soil.  We found a 4 star hotel in the hip Latin Quarter/St. Germain area of the city on Hotwire.com for only $100 per night.  Sound too good to be true?  It was.  Turns out, the hotel was just on the outskirts of the Latin Quarter, somewhere around the 13th Arrondissement, which has its nice parts but to some is considered the ghetto.  We pleading with Hotwire to refund our money but it was no use, they would not give us our money back.

I let my in-laws know about my predicament and they immediety booked us a room at the luxurious Jolly Lotti Hotel.

Upon our arrival, we received a few frantic phone calls from family members about riots that were breaking out all over Paris.  ”what riots?” we asked.  As soon as we turned on the television, we learned there were major rioting in the streets of the 13th Arrondissement, right where we would have been staying.

The hotel was beautiful, but the concierge looked like he wanted to kill us every time we asked him for advice.  Within 24 hours, we had won him over and his face lighted up each time he saw us.  ”Hi Girls” he would yell across the lobby.  

There’s just no place like Paris, its got to be the most visually stunning city in the world.  It was our second time there so we skipped the Louvre and the top of the Eiffel Tower this time around, but visited other classic sites such as the Musee D’Orsay, Notre-Dame, Arc de Triomphe and Champs Elysees.  The best thing to do in Paris is simply sit back and people watch. The St. Germain area is full of brassieres.  We loved Cafe de Flore, where we each had a croque madame and washed it down with a bottle of white wine.

We wanted to experience Paris nightlife, so we went to the club Manray, which is owned by Johnny Depp. Why we went to a club owned by an American while in Paris, I do not know.  We had a “late” dinner there and decided to stay until the happening crowd arrived.  The happening people in Paris do not go out until at least 1:00 a.m.  We just aren’t that happening.

On day two of our trip, Mihae was looking through the pictures on her camera and accidently erased every photo from the trip. We spent the second day going back to the same places we had been the previous day, recreating every single picture.  Yes, we are that dorky, see the below “Charlie’s Angel” pose for proof. 

On the last night, we asked our friend the concierge to recommend a real authentic french bistro.  No tourists, no English translations on the menu, the real deal.  I was sick of asking “excusez-moi, ou sont les toilettes?” only to have the person respond, “the restroom is down the hall to your left”.

We got what we asked for.  It was a 40 minute cab ride far from the heart of the city, in a residential neighborhood.  I have no idea what it was called, but it was upstairs in a smoke filled room.  All eyes were on us when we entered the room, as it was clear that we did not belong there.

Our server did not speak a word of English and just as requested, there was no English on the menu.  Maybe this was not such a good idea.  I was under pressure since I had taken French class from the 7th to 12th grade.  Mihae and Charity wanted steak. No problem, le bifteck, that’s easy enough.  I decided on some fish, so I just choose any old thing from the “le poisson” category, thinking, “I’m sure they are all good.”

The steak arrived smelling just wonderful.  And then came my surprise poisson.  Three whole sticky, sardines staring back at me to be exact.  My stomache churned just looking at them.

Mihae saw my face and then said quite possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me: “here, take my steak, I’ll eat it.”  

Turns out she couldn’t.  

We shared the steak while the waiter looked at us in disgust as he removed the foul smelling dish.

On the cab ride home, the song “Africa” came on the radio.  We asked the cab driver to turn it up and sang along, I’m surpised we didn’t get kicked out of the cab.  I think it was right then I decided I wanted to go to Africa.  I sure hope they like us better than the French do.

We’ve been to Athens, Greece three times. Sort of.

The First Time was Ugly

We had a 24 hour layover on our way to Cario. We arrived just as the sun was setting, quickly freshened up and were off in search of adventure.

As we explored the Plaka, we stopped off at a shop when we saw a teeshirt in the window with an interesting design. A cartoon of an older man wearing very short shorts with his, um, package hanging out. It read “the reason I don’t wear shorts.” We laughed and bought the shirt for my father-in-law…he’s hard to shop for and father’s day was coming up, okay?

We wander to the base of the Acropolis and decide to see if we can climb to the top (as you can see, we like to climb things). There are actually homes at the base of the hill and we keep going further up. We come to an older man watering his yard. He politely greets us and as we get closer we are shocked to see that he is wearing very short shorts and… you guessed it, his, um, package is hanging out. That’s all I’m going to say about that experience.

The Second Time Was Bad

Another layover. This time we are on our way to Santorini. Six hours in the Athens Airport. The longest six hours of our lives as we are suffering badly from food poisoning we picked up in Ephesus. We find a pharmacy in high hopes of buying some stomache medicine to put an end to our troubles. Try explaining that to a sales girl who barely speaks English. After some embarssing hand gestures, a light bulb goes off in her head. She disappears down an aisle and comes back with a box of medicine. We examine the box but the writing is in Greek.

“It’s pour Diary!” she exclaims.

The Third Time was Good

No, we weren’t on a layover. We finally experienced the true Athens. This city of 5 million is horribly over crowded, polluted, hot, sticky, smoggy, way too built up, and an overall sensory overload. Yet, it somehow maintains its old Greek charm if you are in the right place.

40 Percent of Greece's Population Lives in Athens

The Acropolis and Greece’s most famous temple, the Parthenon does not dissapoint. You’ve seen it a million times in photos and movies but to see it in person will leave you awestruck. This massive structure looks down at the city below and you can just imagine how different the view was for the people who lived here in 5,000 BC.

Ancient Agora, Temple of Athena Nike, Theater of Dionysos Odeion (Odeum) of Herodes Atticus will make you wish you paid for attention in history class. But as much ancient history this city has to offer, its extremely modern as well. Hip restaurants, night clubs, chic hotels and the hottest fashion are all over the streets here.

A few days in Athens is all you need to soak up the sights. Sure, the cab drivers are rude and won’t pick up visitors and there’s more tourist trap food than there is authentic cuisine, but find a way to make the city your own and it won’t be so Greek to you…or maybe it will.

My first time to London was on my honeymoon. The dollar was a painful 2 to 1 and I’ll always remember my husband’s “you know that Pepsi costs $7 in American money” comment.

The second and third times I visited the city, the husband stayed behind. I’ve received some sarcastic “wow, it must be nice to be rich” comments from family but what they don’t know is that it’s quite easy to save some dough in the UK, you just have to do some research before leaving home. Here’s how:

• Travel in the fall or spring shoulder seasons when rates and crowds are lowest. Right now its mid October and there’s a 3 star hotel room on Hotwire.com in the Knightsbridge/Kensington area for $59 USD a night.
• Eat cheap for breakfast and lunch. Try sandwich shops like EAT or the french chain Pret a Manger. They are on every corner of the city and an entire DELICIOUS meal can be purchased for about $8 USD. I spend this much for lunch at work. Our favorite budget spot for dinner is Wagamama.
• Most museums in London are free. Go back in time at the British Museum, National Gallery, National Portrait Gallery, Tate Britain, Tate Modern, Natural History Museum, Science Museum, Victoria and Albert Museum, Museum of London, and Sir John Soane’s Museum.
• Watching the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace is not only a quitessential London experience, but its free. Visit www.changing-the-guard.com for time and schedule. You may even get lucky and catch the horse guards parade, complete with marching band!
• Picnic in one of the city’s amazing parks: Hyde Park, Kensington Gardens, Regent’s Park.
• There are free concerts all over London. Try the National Theater, monthly concerts at The Opera House and Octave in Covent Garden.
• Get a pre-paid Oyster Card. Its the cheapest way to get around town and can be used on the bus, tube, overground and some rail services.
• To fly from London to other major European cities, visit Easyjet.com. A one way ticket to Paris is as low as 20 Euros.
• Check out the Portobello Road Flea Market on Saturdays. We brought home some treasures for pretty cheap and had a ball combing through vintage handbags, clothes, hats, tea sets and home decor.

Cheers, Lovies!

Getting mugged in Barcelona is almost a cliche.  Before we left for Spain, a friend warned us about the dangers of the Ramblas or Barri Gòtic (Gothic Quarter) area as her friend had been pick-pocketed there. Just google “Barcelona crime” and you will get hundreds of stories of unfortunate victims.

We choose to stay near this area since anyway since its Barcelona’s most famous street, and for good reason.  The array of fabulous restaurants, tapas bars, pubs, street musicians, and gothic architecture ensures that there is never a dull moment.

It was “Little Black Dress Night” and the four of us were decked out for a night of Spanish debauchery.  We started out by bar-hopping in the Barri Gòtic, sampling the fine Catalan wine and tapas.  For dinner, we headed to Los Caracoles (meaning “the snails”) right on Escudellers Street, a winding, dark cobble stoned street that makes you feel as if you are in a vampire movie.

Our appetizers were excelllent and before dinner arrived, Charlotte asked Mihae to step outside with her for a clove cigarette she picked up on the Costa Brava.  They were outside not more than five minutes when a tall lanky man ran past Mihae and grabbed her purse and camera, both of which were hanging from her wrist.

Mihae instinctively pulled back, struggling to keep her belongings from being stolen.  The struggle went on only a few seconds before her camera strap broke and the thief took off down the alley.  Charlotte, clad in a long black dress and heals, chased him down the street, but we’re all pretty glad she didn’t catch him.

According to Frommer’s:

While most of Spain has a moderate level of conventional crime, and most of the estimated one million American tourists have trouble-free visits to Spain each year, the principal tourist areas have been experiencing an increase in violent crime. Barcelona has reported growing incidents of muggings and violent attacks, and older tourists and Asian-Americans seem to be particularly at risk. Criminals frequent tourist areas and major attractions such as museums, monuments, restaurants, hotels, beach resorts, trains, train stations, airports, subways, and ATMs.

Reported incidents have occurred in key tourist areas such as La Rambla and the narrow lanes of the Barri Gòtic. Travelers should exercise caution, carry limited cash and credit cards, and leave extra cash, credit cards, passports, and personal documents in a safe location. Crimes have occurred at all times of day and night, though visitors — and residents — are more vulnerable in the early hours of the morning.

Thieves often work in teams or pairs. In most cases, one person distracts a victim while the accomplice performs the robbery. For example, a stranger might wave a map in your face and ask for directions or “inadvertently” spill something on you. While your attention is diverted, an accomplice makes off with the valuables. Attacks can also be initiated from behind, with the victim being grabbed around the neck and choked by one assailant while others rifle through the belongings. A group of assailants may surround the victim, maybe in a crowded popular tourist area or on public transportation, and only after the group has departed does the person discover that he has been robbed. Some attacks have been so violent that victims have needed to seek medical attention afterward.

Theft from parked cars is also common. Small items like luggage, cameras, or briefcases are often stolen from parked cars. Travelers are advised not to leave valuables in parked cars and to keep doors locked, windows rolled up, and valuables out of sight when driving. “Good Samaritan” scams are unfortunately common. A passing car will attempt to divert the driver’s attention by indicating there is a mechanical problem. If the driver stops to check the vehicle, accomplices steal from the car while the driver is looking elsewhere. Drivers should be cautious about accepting help from anyone other than a uniformed Spanish police officer or Civil Guard.

We still enjoyed the rest of our time in the city and would recommend visiting it.  We were so lucky that nothing more was taken and most importantly we weren’t hurt.  Our best advice is to not bring a purse at all.  Keep your money in a money pouch and don’t keep anything in your pockets.

Where was this guy when Mihae was being Mugged?

Ah, Santorini. crystal blue waters, white washed building set along the cliffs and breathtaking views of the caldera. Its pure magic and one of the most spectacular islands in the world. You’ve seen the pictures but you have to see this place in person to grasp the beauty. Every direction looks like a postcard. There are many ways to explore this beautiful destination:

By Foot

You can spend days exploring Oia and Fira’s streets. There are many shops, restaurants and cafes. Between July and August, the streets get so crowded with cruise ship passengers its hard to walk. We visited in June when the weather was not sweltering hot and the crowds were not bad. As the sun sets, the cruisers will disappear and you’ll have the streets all to yourself.

We walked down to a small seaside village just below Oia where several restaurants lined the water. Lobster was pulled right out of the sea and plopped right on the fire. Greeks do not use butter, they use olive oil as a seasoning.

There are tons of stray cats and dogs on the streets here. If you are walking around, one may even follow you home. We made a friend we named “Athena, and she waited for us daily at our apartment. We bought some cat food to keep our guest well fed.

By Car

There’s no driving in the main towns, Oia and Fira as they are built along the cliffs. If you rent a car, you park along the outskirt of town and lug your suitcase up the winding staircases and streets of town (another reason to pack light!)

Unless you are on an organized tour, a car is needed to see the ancient ruins of Akrotiri, Santorini’s archaeological wonder. The town was destroyed by a volcano but is preserved under layers of lava. A visit to old Thira is also an must-see attraction the island. Placed high atop a hillside, this drive takes you to the remains if an Greek, Roman and Byzantine city overlooking the Mediterranean.

Santorini’s beaches are not know the best the best in the Cyclades, but there a few pretty good ones. Kamari is the Waikiki of Santorini as its lined by hotels, restaurants, shops, and clubs. But you won’t find nude sunbathers on black sand in Waikiki.

Santorini’s volcanic soil and temperatures are ideal for creating great wine. It is these ideals that have helped the islanders to produce 36 different kinds of grapes (white and red) and leading to excellent wine producing. Boutari is the island’s largest winery, and Greece’s most well-known winery

Note: Be careful: We popped a tire and were charged 100 Euros to fix it.

By ATV

An All Terrain Vehicle rental for 24 hours is only about 20 Euros and was our favorite way to explore the island. We took the scenic 6 mile winding road along the caldera from Oia to Fira.

The highlight of the trip was when we went beyond the guidebook and explored the backroads of the island. We rambled across stretches of untouched beach without another visitor in sight, found deserted ruins from an old church and delighted in being outdoors as one should be on the magnificent island of Santorini.

"Hey boys, where's the nearest Biergarten?"

Hefeweizen and Bratwurst and Wienerschnitzel, Oh My!

With just a few short days in Munich, we had just one goal: to eat as much German food as possible. The good, the bad, the totally weird, we were devouring it. To add to this culinary missadventure, my calorie conscious mother had joined us for this part of the trip.

After a 3:00 a.m. flight from Istanbul and an arrive-at-the- wrong-airport fiasco, we were ready for some serious Bavarian beer and food. We stopped off in a lovely park in the middle of the city for some hefeweizen and goulash.

German beer is not only bigger than we are used to in America, but they are stronger and tastier. If you are too drunk to handle another liter of regular beer, ask for a radlermass (translation: “a mug for the bike”), which is made up of half beer and half lemonade. Preservatives aren’t usually added because of the high number of beer drinkers here, it does not last long enough to need them.

The next day, we headed off to Munich’s open air market. We walked past many Metzgerei (butcher shops) with pig heads in the window, full ducks and chickens hanging and miles of meat galore.

We came, we saw, we Pigged out.

Lunch was a kind of “Bavarian fast food”, which consisted of a few communal tables and a cafeteria style line where you choose your favorite wurst and side dish of German potato salad or boiled cabbage. Almost all wurst includes pork (and sometimes beef or veal), spices, and peppercorns, but the other ingredients make each wurst distinctive. There are over 1,000 types of wurst.

Munich has wonderful cakes, pies and pasteries. We stumbled upon a heavenly shop dedicated to gingerbread and must have spent close to an hour in there. It was the best we ever tasted and we loaded on souvenirs that never made it home. We also visited a honey shop and sampled warm honey wine.

Did you know that pretzels orginated in Germany? Neither did we. They even eat pretzels for breakfast and pair it with weisswurst sausage. We opted to pair ours with some red wine from the Rhineland.

We wanted to conclude our adventure with a cliched German restaurant, complete with a beer wench. We found such a place with an extensive menu of all things Bavarian. We decided to get a little crazy this meal. Among the things we ordered were pigs tongue, cow utter and hog knuncle. They were all pretty good, the group favorite was the utter, which was breaded and fried. Guten Appetit!

Just in case you’ve always wanted to know, here’s a quick guide to German wurst:

• Bierschinken—a large slicing sausage with chunks of ham and pistachios
• Bierwurst—coarse-textured slicing sausage flavored with juniper berries and cardamom
• Blutwurst—blood sausage, which comes in many varieties; it is eaten sliced and cold or fried like black pudding
• Bockwurst—smoked and scalded, usually made from finely ground veal, spiced with chives and parsley
• Bratwurst—a pale, smoked sausage made of finely minced veal, pork, ginger, nutmeg and other spices
• Braunschweiger—a spreadable smoked liver sausage enriched with eggs and milk; the most well known of the liverwurst sausages
• Cervelat—similar to Italian salami, a slicing sausage of pork and beef, spices and often mustard or garlic
• Frankfurter—the genuine German variety (not the same as an American frankfurter) contains finely chopped lean pork with a bit of salted bacon fat, and is smoked
• Knockwurst; knackwurst—a short, plump smoked sausage needing poaching or grilling; contains finely minced lean pork, beef, spices and, notably, garlic; often served with sauerkraut
• Wienerwurst— beef and pork flavored with coriander and garlic
• Weisswurst—German for “white sausage” and is very pale and delicately flavored; made of veal, sometimes beef and pork, cream and eggs; a specialty of Munich and traditionally served at Oktoberfest with rye bread, sweet mustard and beer

Amsterdam is Best Explored by Bicycle

Amsterdam was always on the bottom of my European “wish list.” Why would I go to a city know for legal marijuana smoking and prostitution, I thought. There’s nothing there for me. We scheduled two days in the city, just enough to soak up the sights and get out of there. As soon as we arrived and drove through the lively historic city center, I knew I was mistaken, I could easily spend a week there.

Although the city is quite large, there aren’t many skyscrapers, so it almost has a small town feel. Many residents zip around town on a bicycle, so rented some rusted out bikes of our own and decided to explore the city the way the locals do.

I had spent the summer reading “The Diary of Anne Frank” so the most important thing for me was to visit her home. The line to get into the museum goes down and around the block. Thank goodness I had purchased tickets online, as we were able to bypass hundreds of people in line. It unimaginable to think about what that young girl went through and thousands upon thousands like her. Bring tissue.

After leaving the Anne Frank House with heavy hearts, we decided to visit a very different museum, The Heineken Museum. Beware of bike riding after exploring this attraction as it comes with two free beers, they even have extra cold beer!

To find the Red Light District, you pretty much have to seek it out. After being mugged a few days earlier, we were wary about visiting this area at night, so we peddled over in the afternoon. After a quick walk up and down the road gawking at the women with our mouths wide open, we had seen enough. The women don’t care for female visitors to come stare at them like they are a freak show. A few of them acturally opened their windows to yell at us to leave the area.

After chatting with some business men, we found out that most locals feel that prostitution is a perfectly acceptable career choice for women and do not find it demeaning in any way. I guess we know what district they hang out in during the weekends.

The food in Amsterdam is some of the very best in all of Europe. From Pancakes for lunch, to French fries smothers in mayonnaise.

We ventured just outside of the city center to Jamie Oliver’s restaurant, Fifteeen. The food was not only fabulous, but the renowned chef gives disadvantaged adolescents the chance to gain professional training by working in his restaurant. How cool is that?

We did visit the cities’ famous “coffeeshop.” They are not for everyone but it was an experience and it was quite fun. Besides, it would be like going to Paris and not having a crepe, right?

Amsterdam has become one of my favorite cities. I’m dying to go back when the tulips are blooming.